Saturday, July 14, 2007

Not accident prone, but accident... vulnerable?

I'm not an accident-prone type of guy. I've never broken a bone, I've never been at the wheel during a car accident, I don't drop things all over the floor on a regular basis, and I rarely get sick. Lately, though, I've been wondering if the universe isn't trying to balance things out a bit.
I'll use an example.

A few months ago, my friend dimmi got run over by a motorcycle. Yes, that's right. A motorcycle. (A few of you probably remember this.) We kept hoping for a nice bruise on her leg, since with a story like that you've earned the right to have something to show for it, but nothing really ever showed up. Sure, she was sore for a bit, but looking at her you never would have known it.

By contrast, a week or so later, I was in the front yard at home tossing a frisbee around with my sister just before dinner, one of those Aerobie Superdiscs with the soft plastic edge. Mind, now, this wasn't a grueling game of Ultimate, just an easy game of catch at a distance of no more than 20 feet. We'd been playing for maybe ten minutes when one of her throws was a bit weak and hit my right shin just above the ankle. I thought nothing of it until we went inside 20 minutes later when I discovered a swollen deep-purple bruise the size of my palm spreading up my leg.

Another example. A few nights ago I was having a lot of trouble sleeping. I'd been feeling fine when I sent to bed, but at about 3:00 AM, I decided I'd had enough of not sleeping and got up to get up and get a drink. Before I ever got to the kitchen, my legs gave out on me and I hit the ground. Hard. I caught myself mostly with my head and got an ugly carpet burn all around my right eye.

Has anybody noticed something here? I get monstrous bruises from soft-edged frisbees and get car-crash-worthy head wounds from an attempt to get a glass of water, while dimmi gets run over by a motorcylce and gets nothing to show for it. Is that normal?

I think someone's after me.

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