I'm happy

It's interesting how you learn things about yourself simply by your own actions.

...

Okay, that sounds incredibly obvious and utterly cliché. I'll just cut to the story.

I crossed paths with an old friend this morning, one I haven't talked to in months. We didn't have time for an extended conversation, just a brief exchange as we passed. She asked me how I was doing; I responded "Still alive!" with a smile. She said "Good!" and the conversation was over. As I walked away, I realized that my response expressed a somewhat pessimistic outlook on life; it suggested that one would expect there to be a question as to whether I was surviving school.

That's not my outlook on life; I'm quite an optimistic person. My response came from a habit I've developed: when I ask someone how they're doing, they usually say "Fine." That's a boring response, so I often follow up with "Surviving?" or "Still alive?" That usually brings out a little more information about how life is going, etc., and makes the conversation more intersting. Since most people are, in fact, still alive, they give me a response about how they're doing better than what I had asked, and the conversation is a positive one.

But when I responsed "Still alive," I wasn't expressing my inner optimism. I wish I had responded "I'm happy," not because of any particular effect that it would have had on the other party, but because I want to be the kind of person that is actually happy.

Okay, enough of the sappy self-analysis. Happy January 8th, everybody!