The Best of Times, the Worst of Times
I'm living out of town for the summer, so when I receive mail at home, my mom usually puts it in a larger envelope and forwards it to me here. The other day I received one of these envelopes with two letters inside.
The first was a wedding invitation. (Yes, another. Hence the previous post.) It was from a high school friend I hadn't heard from in a while. He was one of my favorite people in high school and I was very excited to receive his wedding invitation. It's fun to see so many of my friends getting married and generally being very happy.
The second was a letter from a girl we baptized in my mission. I won't be too specific out of respect to privacy, but here are a few snippets:
"...I didn't go to the temple and I don't plan to. I stopped going to church three months ago."Needless to say, I wasn't nearly as excited about receiving this second letter. It was good to hear from her; I hadn't heard anything in a number of months. But this wasn't exactly the news I was hoping for.
"When you come, you'll find only 4 or 5 people. Nobody goes to church anymore."
"Regarding the Book of Mormon, it's sitting abandoned on the bookshelf. I don't touch it at all, and I'm not interested in it anymore."
She thanked me for writing and said she hopes we can still be friends despite the fact that she's left the church. And of course we can. In my opinion, one of the true tragedies about current church culture, (especially in Utah,) is that we don't know how to deal with those that don't follow the ideal path, so we shun them. Instead of reaching out to them, instead of keeping those relationships open, instead of showing these people the love of Christ, we block them out. These are the people that need our help the most. These are they of whom Christ said "They that be whole need not a physician, but they that are sick."
My mission president taught me something very profound. He said that there are two parts to a testimony of the Church. The first is that the Church is true. This is what we generally think of when we imagine a testimony. It involves a testimony of Christ as the Savior, a testimony of the Restoration of the Gospel through Joseph Smith, a testimony of the Book of Mormon, and other such things. The second is that the Church is good. This means that the Church makes me feel happy inside. This is why we have ward parties and basketball teams. When there is no unity among the members, they won't stay. As missionaires we taught people that the Gospel brings joy. If they don't feel that joy, they'll leave.
I think that's what happened with my friend. The happiness and joy that comes from the Gospel was gone. And if men are that they might have joy... then why go to Church if it doesn't help in that pursuit? Granted, the Church isn't perfect, but if we don't do our part to make it better, it will never get there.
3 comments:
I agree. Those who are becoming inactive need the most help (but they want it the least sometimes).
I have to admit I'm not one of those people who likes to go to church or anything of that nature but I do believe that some people need some sort of organization and faith to be a part of or else they'll feel lost. I can't say I'm one of those but I have met people who show signs of depression and even the will to live. These are the type of people, even though they want it the least, that need some sort of positive in their lives and the Church may just be one of those things. Don't get me wrong I'm not totally against Church nor is there a valid reason for me to not go to Church but it's just not for me. It's intentions are wonderful in every aspect possible but like Yellow said... it's not perfect. So these people who want it the least..., in my opinion, don't force the Church in them just be their friend and point out the good things in life. Trust me a compliment goes a long way :).
I've had a similar experience. I went out on missionary exchanges a lot when I was finally old enough. There was a girl who asked me to speak at her baptism. I had been there for a good portion of her conversion experience. One year later she was completely inactive. I think part of it had to do with her lack of understanding of the atonement. The other part I think had to do with the fact that half of her body was covered with tattoos.
It hurts to see them make the choice to leave. If we continue to make an effort to be their friend, I believe that either in this life or the next we will be able to persuade them to come back into Christ's fold. To taste of repentance, forgiveness and the healing power of the attonement.
I just remind my new member friends to write in their journal how they feel and why/how they know the church is true. Those entries will be the beginings of their own foundation in Christ.
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